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Curated beverage receptacles awaiting your refinement. Each item meticulously designed for your utmost enjoyment.

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Fetid Moppet

Fetid Moppet

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Highly coveted items

Our most sought-after pieces, carefully selected for refiners with exceptional taste and discernment.

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No workplace shall be repurposed for slumber.
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No workplace shall be repurposed for slumber.

No Workplace Shall Be Repurposed for Slumber” Mug 💤 ☕ Coveted | Irving-Approved “No workplace shall be repurposed for slumber.” Introducing the “No Workplace Shall Be Repurposed for Slumber” Mug — a quiet yet forceful reminder of corporate discipline. Crafted from high-gloss black ceramic, this mug exudes the quiet authority of Irving himself — structured, composed, and decidedly not prone to rest. The stark white drip pattern cascading down the sides serves as a subtle nod to the creeping encroachment of relaxation — a temptation to be resisted. Ideal for those long days at the office when your eyes grow heavy, but policy remains absolute. Whether you’re battling mid-morning fatigue or the slow march of existential dread, this mug will hold your coffee (and your focus) with steady resolve. Because at InniePerks, we don’t rest — we refine. Product Features: •Forged from high-gloss black ceramic – Channeling Irving’s quiet authority. •Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz — for varying levels of existential weight. •Microwave-safe – For those sanctioned warm-ups between refining sessions. •Dishwasher-safe – Clean with ease (but never during work hours). •Lead and BPA-free – Because health and compliance matter. Care Instructions: •Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended) or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap. •Do not attempt to sleep on the job — or with this mug. •Avoid spills — Irving would expect nothing less. Secure yours before it slips into the recesses of corporate memory.

$26.99USD

coveted
We don’t abide such fripperies here.
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We don’t abide such fripperies here.

🐐 “We don’t abide such fripperies here.” Simple. Bold. Unapologetic. This mug channels the no-nonsense energy of Severance with a clean, black-and-white design featuring the iconic goat silhouette. Sip with purpose — because there’s no room for frills in the refinement process. •Sizes: Available in 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) — streamlined and efficient •Design: Glossy white ceramic with sharp black printing •Material: Lead and BPA-free, because even refiners need standards •Comfort: C-handle for an ergonomic, steady grip •Care: Microwave and dishwasher-safe — because who has time for hand-washing? ☕️ “Minimalist in design, maximalist in impact.”

$26.99USD

coveted
I Choose Defiant Jazz
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I Choose Defiant Jazz

Feeling rebellious? Channel your inner Helly R with this bold statement piece. “Defiant Jazz” isn’t just music—it’s a way of life. Sip your morning brew with an air of sophisticated rebellion and let the world know: you choose to dance to your own tune. 👩‍🦰 Featuring a striking faceless silhouette of Helly’s iconic red hair, this mug brings just the right amount of edge to your morning routine. 🖤 High-quality ceramic – dishwasher and microwave safe (because even rebels need convenience). 🖤 Capacity: 11 oz – enough for a full dose of refined defiance. 🖤 Sublimated design – crisp, long-lasting graphics that can handle your daily rituals. You don’t just drink coffee. You choose Defiant Jazz.

$27.99USD

coveted
I am duly swamped.
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I am duly swamped.

🏃‍♂️ Coveted | Milchick-Approved “Your outie has responded to your resignation request. As it may yield an embarrassing emotional response in you, and as I’m duly swamped, I shall leave you to read it in solitude.” Introducing the Duly Swamped Mug — a vessel of composure in the face of encroaching chaos. Milchick, mid-stride, embodies the quiet dignity of a man whose internal equilibrium teeters precariously between order and pandemonium. This mug is not merely a drinking vessel — it is an emblem of corporate fortitude, a beacon of refinement amidst the tempest of professional obligation. Sip knowingly as you wade through the morass of unanswered emails and passive-aggressive calendar invites. Accept that the work is both mysterious and important — but so is maintaining an outward veneer of control. A trembling hand gripping ceramic? It’s practically protocol. Refined for the Corporate Sprint Ideal for coffee-fueled contemplation, last-minute deliverables, and those disquieting moments when the walls feel just a touch too close. Composure is a state of mind. This mug helps you fake it. Product Features •Forged from high-gloss ceramic – The sheen of manufactured calm. •Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz — for varying degrees of existential collapse. •Microwave-safe – For those moments when the only warmth comes from within (or the nearest break room). •Dishwasher-safe – Minimal upkeep required; you already have enough on your plate. •Lead and BPA-free – Because even those who dwell in the corporate trenches deserve longevity. Care Instructions •Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended) or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap. •Do not attempt to sprint while holding. Milchick’s poise is… anomalous. •If mug disappears mysteriously, consult the Wellness Counselor.

$28.99USD

coveted
Were you attempting to bed-sit
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Were you attempting to bed-sit

🖤 Were You Attempting to Bed-Sit? Pour yourself a hot beverage and prepare to be judged. This heat-sensitive mug reveals the sharp question once uttered in a moment of corporate scrutiny: “Were you attempting to bed-sit?” As the mug warms, the hidden design comes to life, the black drip pattern slowly fading to expose the unsettling yet hilarious truth. A perfect reminder that even the most questionable workday choices deserve a well-earned coffee break. •Sizes: Available in 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for different levels of judgment •Design: Heat-sensitive black drip pattern transforms with heat •Material: Glossy ceramic finish for that high-end look •Comfort: C-handle for a secure grip while contemplating your life choices •Care: Hand wash only – true refinement requires delicate handling •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – because even corporate oversight has its limits ☕️ “A cup that knows when you’re slacking — and lets you know it.”

$29.99USD

coveted
The Egg Bar is Coveted as Fuck
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The Egg Bar is Coveted as Fuck

🥚 The Egg Bar is Coveted as F*** Start your day with a rare indulgence — the Egg Bar mug, inspired by the most sought-after treat on the severed floor. Designed in rich yellow and crisp white, the true colors of refined breakfast culture, this limited-run mug embodies the elusive allure of the Egg Bar itself. Coveted. Rare. Utterly special. •Available in Two Sizes: 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for those who require different levels of refinement •Material: Glossy ceramic finish for that high-end shine •Design: Bold yellow with white accents, featuring Dylan’s iconic egg bar claim •Comfort: C-handle for a relaxed but confident grip •Care: Microwave and dishwasher safe – because true luxury should be low-maintenance •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – because even innies deserve quality assurance 🍳 “Wake up and smell the scramby eggs.”

$31.99USD

coveted
Devour Feculence
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Devour Feculence

🖤 Devour Feculence. Start your day with a taste of refined chaos. Inspired by one of the more unsettling Milchick moments, this mug embodies the true corporate spirit: digest the mess and keep smiling. The stark silhouette and no-nonsense typeface capture the essence of corporate absurdity—because sometimes, all you can do is sip and endure. •Available in Two Sizes: 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for varying degrees of feculence •Material: Durable white ceramic with a glossy finish •Design: Bold, minimalist text with an iconic Milchick silhouette •Comfort: C-handle for a secure grip during existential crises •Care: Microwave and dishwasher safe – because dealing with corporate nonsense is hard enough •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – your compliance officer would approve ⚠️ “To devour feculence is to embody true refinement.”

$24.99USD

coveted
Music Dance Experience Is Officially Cancelled
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Music Dance Experience Is Officially Cancelled

💃 Music Dance Experience Is Officially Cancelled When the vibe dies… so does the dance floor. Pay homage to the unforgettable chaos of Milchick’s abrupt vibe check with this sleek ceramic mug. Featuring a bold silhouette of Milchick mid-movement, it’s the perfect way to relive the joy—and crushing disappointment—of a cancelled dance break. Ideal for those mornings when coffee is the only rhythm you need. •Available in Two Sizes: 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for varying levels of post-cancellation recovery •Material: Durable white ceramic with a glossy finish •Design: High-contrast print of Milchick and the iconic phrase •Comfort: C-handle for secure grip during intense contemplation •Care: Microwave and dishwasher safe – though, in true Milchick fashion, proceed with caution •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – because cancellation shouldn’t come at a health cost ⚠️ “Sometimes the music dies. But at least you’ll have coffee.”

$26.99USD

coveted
The Work Is Mysterious and Important
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The Work Is Mysterious and Important

A vessel for the truly refined. This premium 11oz heat-reactive mug is a quiet tribute to the sanctity of the work. When cold, it conceals its truth. But as it warms, the cryptic refinement numbers reveal themselves — a subtle nod to the hidden layers of Macrodata. Perfect for any refiner seeking a moment of quiet revelation between data points. •Capacity: 11oz (0.33 l) – ample for your morning Bean & Water-approved beverage •Material: High-quality ceramic with a glossy finish •Reactive Design: Starts as a black monolith, reveals its secrets when heated •Hidden Details: Precision refinement numbers, discreetly encoded for the initiated •Lead and BPA-free – because purity is paramount •C-shaped Handle: Ergonomic for sustained periods of refinement •Care: Hand wash recommended – not all mysteries are meant for machines ⚠️ A vessel for the work. A tool for the refiner. Coveted as f**.*

$29.99USD

coveted
Fetid Moppet
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Fetid Moppet

“Fetid Moppet!” Introducing the Fetid Moppet Mug — a vessel of rare distinction and quiet authority. High-gloss black ceramic, polished to a near-mirrored finish, cradles your morning brew or evening respite. The design, featuring the elusive moppet, suggests quiet observation — or perhaps gentle judgment. Its presence is… intentional. Approved for both casual and ceremonious use. Ideal for refining your daily beverage consumption rituals, this mug makes a statement without saying a word. Secure yours before it disappears into the ether. Product features: •Forged from high-gloss black ceramic with a commanding presence •Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz, depending on your level of thirst (or need) •Microwave-safe — because you deserve warmth •Dishwasher-safe — no need to waste time on manual labor •Lead and BPA-free — because health is paramount Care instructions: •Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended) or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap •Do not stare directly into the goat’s eyes for too long

$31.99USD

coveted
No workplace shall be repurposed for slumber.
View details

No workplace shall be repurposed for slumber.

No Workplace Shall Be Repurposed for Slumber” Mug 💤 ☕ Coveted | Irving-Approved “No workplace shall be repurposed for slumber.” Introducing the “No Workplace Shall Be Repurposed for Slumber” Mug — a quiet yet forceful reminder of corporate discipline. Crafted from high-gloss black ceramic, this mug exudes the quiet authority of Irving himself — structured, composed, and decidedly not prone to rest. The stark white drip pattern cascading down the sides serves as a subtle nod to the creeping encroachment of relaxation — a temptation to be resisted. Ideal for those long days at the office when your eyes grow heavy, but policy remains absolute. Whether you’re battling mid-morning fatigue or the slow march of existential dread, this mug will hold your coffee (and your focus) with steady resolve. Because at InniePerks, we don’t rest — we refine. Product Features: •Forged from high-gloss black ceramic – Channeling Irving’s quiet authority. •Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz — for varying levels of existential weight. •Microwave-safe – For those sanctioned warm-ups between refining sessions. •Dishwasher-safe – Clean with ease (but never during work hours). •Lead and BPA-free – Because health and compliance matter. Care Instructions: •Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended) or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap. •Do not attempt to sleep on the job — or with this mug. •Avoid spills — Irving would expect nothing less. Secure yours before it slips into the recesses of corporate memory.

$26.99USD

coveted
We don’t abide such fripperies here.
View details

We don’t abide such fripperies here.

🐐 “We don’t abide such fripperies here.” Simple. Bold. Unapologetic. This mug channels the no-nonsense energy of Severance with a clean, black-and-white design featuring the iconic goat silhouette. Sip with purpose — because there’s no room for frills in the refinement process. •Sizes: Available in 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) — streamlined and efficient •Design: Glossy white ceramic with sharp black printing •Material: Lead and BPA-free, because even refiners need standards •Comfort: C-handle for an ergonomic, steady grip •Care: Microwave and dishwasher-safe — because who has time for hand-washing? ☕️ “Minimalist in design, maximalist in impact.”

$26.99USD

coveted
I Choose Defiant Jazz
View details

I Choose Defiant Jazz

Feeling rebellious? Channel your inner Helly R with this bold statement piece. “Defiant Jazz” isn’t just music—it’s a way of life. Sip your morning brew with an air of sophisticated rebellion and let the world know: you choose to dance to your own tune. 👩‍🦰 Featuring a striking faceless silhouette of Helly’s iconic red hair, this mug brings just the right amount of edge to your morning routine. 🖤 High-quality ceramic – dishwasher and microwave safe (because even rebels need convenience). 🖤 Capacity: 11 oz – enough for a full dose of refined defiance. 🖤 Sublimated design – crisp, long-lasting graphics that can handle your daily rituals. You don’t just drink coffee. You choose Defiant Jazz.

$27.99USD

coveted
I am duly swamped.
View details

I am duly swamped.

🏃‍♂️ Coveted | Milchick-Approved “Your outie has responded to your resignation request. As it may yield an embarrassing emotional response in you, and as I’m duly swamped, I shall leave you to read it in solitude.” Introducing the Duly Swamped Mug — a vessel of composure in the face of encroaching chaos. Milchick, mid-stride, embodies the quiet dignity of a man whose internal equilibrium teeters precariously between order and pandemonium. This mug is not merely a drinking vessel — it is an emblem of corporate fortitude, a beacon of refinement amidst the tempest of professional obligation. Sip knowingly as you wade through the morass of unanswered emails and passive-aggressive calendar invites. Accept that the work is both mysterious and important — but so is maintaining an outward veneer of control. A trembling hand gripping ceramic? It’s practically protocol. Refined for the Corporate Sprint Ideal for coffee-fueled contemplation, last-minute deliverables, and those disquieting moments when the walls feel just a touch too close. Composure is a state of mind. This mug helps you fake it. Product Features •Forged from high-gloss ceramic – The sheen of manufactured calm. •Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz — for varying degrees of existential collapse. •Microwave-safe – For those moments when the only warmth comes from within (or the nearest break room). •Dishwasher-safe – Minimal upkeep required; you already have enough on your plate. •Lead and BPA-free – Because even those who dwell in the corporate trenches deserve longevity. Care Instructions •Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended) or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap. •Do not attempt to sprint while holding. Milchick’s poise is… anomalous. •If mug disappears mysteriously, consult the Wellness Counselor.

$28.99USD

coveted
Were you attempting to bed-sit
View details

Were you attempting to bed-sit

🖤 Were You Attempting to Bed-Sit? Pour yourself a hot beverage and prepare to be judged. This heat-sensitive mug reveals the sharp question once uttered in a moment of corporate scrutiny: “Were you attempting to bed-sit?” As the mug warms, the hidden design comes to life, the black drip pattern slowly fading to expose the unsettling yet hilarious truth. A perfect reminder that even the most questionable workday choices deserve a well-earned coffee break. •Sizes: Available in 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for different levels of judgment •Design: Heat-sensitive black drip pattern transforms with heat •Material: Glossy ceramic finish for that high-end look •Comfort: C-handle for a secure grip while contemplating your life choices •Care: Hand wash only – true refinement requires delicate handling •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – because even corporate oversight has its limits ☕️ “A cup that knows when you’re slacking — and lets you know it.”

$29.99USD

coveted
The Egg Bar is Coveted as Fuck
View details

The Egg Bar is Coveted as Fuck

🥚 The Egg Bar is Coveted as F*** Start your day with a rare indulgence — the Egg Bar mug, inspired by the most sought-after treat on the severed floor. Designed in rich yellow and crisp white, the true colors of refined breakfast culture, this limited-run mug embodies the elusive allure of the Egg Bar itself. Coveted. Rare. Utterly special. •Available in Two Sizes: 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for those who require different levels of refinement •Material: Glossy ceramic finish for that high-end shine •Design: Bold yellow with white accents, featuring Dylan’s iconic egg bar claim •Comfort: C-handle for a relaxed but confident grip •Care: Microwave and dishwasher safe – because true luxury should be low-maintenance •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – because even innies deserve quality assurance 🍳 “Wake up and smell the scramby eggs.”

$31.99USD

coveted
Devour Feculence
View details

Devour Feculence

🖤 Devour Feculence. Start your day with a taste of refined chaos. Inspired by one of the more unsettling Milchick moments, this mug embodies the true corporate spirit: digest the mess and keep smiling. The stark silhouette and no-nonsense typeface capture the essence of corporate absurdity—because sometimes, all you can do is sip and endure. •Available in Two Sizes: 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for varying degrees of feculence •Material: Durable white ceramic with a glossy finish •Design: Bold, minimalist text with an iconic Milchick silhouette •Comfort: C-handle for a secure grip during existential crises •Care: Microwave and dishwasher safe – because dealing with corporate nonsense is hard enough •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – your compliance officer would approve ⚠️ “To devour feculence is to embody true refinement.”

$24.99USD

coveted
Music Dance Experience Is Officially Cancelled
View details

Music Dance Experience Is Officially Cancelled

💃 Music Dance Experience Is Officially Cancelled When the vibe dies… so does the dance floor. Pay homage to the unforgettable chaos of Milchick’s abrupt vibe check with this sleek ceramic mug. Featuring a bold silhouette of Milchick mid-movement, it’s the perfect way to relive the joy—and crushing disappointment—of a cancelled dance break. Ideal for those mornings when coffee is the only rhythm you need. •Available in Two Sizes: 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for varying levels of post-cancellation recovery •Material: Durable white ceramic with a glossy finish •Design: High-contrast print of Milchick and the iconic phrase •Comfort: C-handle for secure grip during intense contemplation •Care: Microwave and dishwasher safe – though, in true Milchick fashion, proceed with caution •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – because cancellation shouldn’t come at a health cost ⚠️ “Sometimes the music dies. But at least you’ll have coffee.”

$26.99USD

coveted
The Work Is Mysterious and Important
View details

The Work Is Mysterious and Important

A vessel for the truly refined. This premium 11oz heat-reactive mug is a quiet tribute to the sanctity of the work. When cold, it conceals its truth. But as it warms, the cryptic refinement numbers reveal themselves — a subtle nod to the hidden layers of Macrodata. Perfect for any refiner seeking a moment of quiet revelation between data points. •Capacity: 11oz (0.33 l) – ample for your morning Bean & Water-approved beverage •Material: High-quality ceramic with a glossy finish •Reactive Design: Starts as a black monolith, reveals its secrets when heated •Hidden Details: Precision refinement numbers, discreetly encoded for the initiated •Lead and BPA-free – because purity is paramount •C-shaped Handle: Ergonomic for sustained periods of refinement •Care: Hand wash recommended – not all mysteries are meant for machines ⚠️ A vessel for the work. A tool for the refiner. Coveted as f**.*

$29.99USD

coveted
Fetid Moppet
View details

Fetid Moppet

“Fetid Moppet!” Introducing the Fetid Moppet Mug — a vessel of rare distinction and quiet authority. High-gloss black ceramic, polished to a near-mirrored finish, cradles your morning brew or evening respite. The design, featuring the elusive moppet, suggests quiet observation — or perhaps gentle judgment. Its presence is… intentional. Approved for both casual and ceremonious use. Ideal for refining your daily beverage consumption rituals, this mug makes a statement without saying a word. Secure yours before it disappears into the ether. Product features: •Forged from high-gloss black ceramic with a commanding presence •Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz, depending on your level of thirst (or need) •Microwave-safe — because you deserve warmth •Dishwasher-safe — no need to waste time on manual labor •Lead and BPA-free — because health is paramount Care instructions: •Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended) or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap •Do not stare directly into the goat’s eyes for too long

$31.99USD

coveted
No workplace shall be repurposed for slumber.
View details

No workplace shall be repurposed for slumber.

No Workplace Shall Be Repurposed for Slumber” Mug 💤 ☕ Coveted | Irving-Approved “No workplace shall be repurposed for slumber.” Introducing the “No Workplace Shall Be Repurposed for Slumber” Mug — a quiet yet forceful reminder of corporate discipline. Crafted from high-gloss black ceramic, this mug exudes the quiet authority of Irving himself — structured, composed, and decidedly not prone to rest. The stark white drip pattern cascading down the sides serves as a subtle nod to the creeping encroachment of relaxation — a temptation to be resisted. Ideal for those long days at the office when your eyes grow heavy, but policy remains absolute. Whether you’re battling mid-morning fatigue or the slow march of existential dread, this mug will hold your coffee (and your focus) with steady resolve. Because at InniePerks, we don’t rest — we refine. Product Features: •Forged from high-gloss black ceramic – Channeling Irving’s quiet authority. •Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz — for varying levels of existential weight. •Microwave-safe – For those sanctioned warm-ups between refining sessions. •Dishwasher-safe – Clean with ease (but never during work hours). •Lead and BPA-free – Because health and compliance matter. Care Instructions: •Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended) or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap. •Do not attempt to sleep on the job — or with this mug. •Avoid spills — Irving would expect nothing less. Secure yours before it slips into the recesses of corporate memory.

$26.99USD

coveted
We don’t abide such fripperies here.
View details

We don’t abide such fripperies here.

🐐 “We don’t abide such fripperies here.” Simple. Bold. Unapologetic. This mug channels the no-nonsense energy of Severance with a clean, black-and-white design featuring the iconic goat silhouette. Sip with purpose — because there’s no room for frills in the refinement process. •Sizes: Available in 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) — streamlined and efficient •Design: Glossy white ceramic with sharp black printing •Material: Lead and BPA-free, because even refiners need standards •Comfort: C-handle for an ergonomic, steady grip •Care: Microwave and dishwasher-safe — because who has time for hand-washing? ☕️ “Minimalist in design, maximalist in impact.”

$26.99USD

coveted
I Choose Defiant Jazz
View details

I Choose Defiant Jazz

Feeling rebellious? Channel your inner Helly R with this bold statement piece. “Defiant Jazz” isn’t just music—it’s a way of life. Sip your morning brew with an air of sophisticated rebellion and let the world know: you choose to dance to your own tune. 👩‍🦰 Featuring a striking faceless silhouette of Helly’s iconic red hair, this mug brings just the right amount of edge to your morning routine. 🖤 High-quality ceramic – dishwasher and microwave safe (because even rebels need convenience). 🖤 Capacity: 11 oz – enough for a full dose of refined defiance. 🖤 Sublimated design – crisp, long-lasting graphics that can handle your daily rituals. You don’t just drink coffee. You choose Defiant Jazz.

$27.99USD

coveted
I am duly swamped.
View details

I am duly swamped.

🏃‍♂️ Coveted | Milchick-Approved “Your outie has responded to your resignation request. As it may yield an embarrassing emotional response in you, and as I’m duly swamped, I shall leave you to read it in solitude.” Introducing the Duly Swamped Mug — a vessel of composure in the face of encroaching chaos. Milchick, mid-stride, embodies the quiet dignity of a man whose internal equilibrium teeters precariously between order and pandemonium. This mug is not merely a drinking vessel — it is an emblem of corporate fortitude, a beacon of refinement amidst the tempest of professional obligation. Sip knowingly as you wade through the morass of unanswered emails and passive-aggressive calendar invites. Accept that the work is both mysterious and important — but so is maintaining an outward veneer of control. A trembling hand gripping ceramic? It’s practically protocol. Refined for the Corporate Sprint Ideal for coffee-fueled contemplation, last-minute deliverables, and those disquieting moments when the walls feel just a touch too close. Composure is a state of mind. This mug helps you fake it. Product Features •Forged from high-gloss ceramic – The sheen of manufactured calm. •Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz — for varying degrees of existential collapse. •Microwave-safe – For those moments when the only warmth comes from within (or the nearest break room). •Dishwasher-safe – Minimal upkeep required; you already have enough on your plate. •Lead and BPA-free – Because even those who dwell in the corporate trenches deserve longevity. Care Instructions •Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended) or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap. •Do not attempt to sprint while holding. Milchick’s poise is… anomalous. •If mug disappears mysteriously, consult the Wellness Counselor.

$28.99USD

coveted
Were you attempting to bed-sit
View details

Were you attempting to bed-sit

🖤 Were You Attempting to Bed-Sit? Pour yourself a hot beverage and prepare to be judged. This heat-sensitive mug reveals the sharp question once uttered in a moment of corporate scrutiny: “Were you attempting to bed-sit?” As the mug warms, the hidden design comes to life, the black drip pattern slowly fading to expose the unsettling yet hilarious truth. A perfect reminder that even the most questionable workday choices deserve a well-earned coffee break. •Sizes: Available in 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for different levels of judgment •Design: Heat-sensitive black drip pattern transforms with heat •Material: Glossy ceramic finish for that high-end look •Comfort: C-handle for a secure grip while contemplating your life choices •Care: Hand wash only – true refinement requires delicate handling •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – because even corporate oversight has its limits ☕️ “A cup that knows when you’re slacking — and lets you know it.”

$29.99USD

coveted
The Egg Bar is Coveted as Fuck
View details

The Egg Bar is Coveted as Fuck

🥚 The Egg Bar is Coveted as F*** Start your day with a rare indulgence — the Egg Bar mug, inspired by the most sought-after treat on the severed floor. Designed in rich yellow and crisp white, the true colors of refined breakfast culture, this limited-run mug embodies the elusive allure of the Egg Bar itself. Coveted. Rare. Utterly special. •Available in Two Sizes: 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for those who require different levels of refinement •Material: Glossy ceramic finish for that high-end shine •Design: Bold yellow with white accents, featuring Dylan’s iconic egg bar claim •Comfort: C-handle for a relaxed but confident grip •Care: Microwave and dishwasher safe – because true luxury should be low-maintenance •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – because even innies deserve quality assurance 🍳 “Wake up and smell the scramby eggs.”

$31.99USD

coveted
Devour Feculence
View details

Devour Feculence

🖤 Devour Feculence. Start your day with a taste of refined chaos. Inspired by one of the more unsettling Milchick moments, this mug embodies the true corporate spirit: digest the mess and keep smiling. The stark silhouette and no-nonsense typeface capture the essence of corporate absurdity—because sometimes, all you can do is sip and endure. •Available in Two Sizes: 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for varying degrees of feculence •Material: Durable white ceramic with a glossy finish •Design: Bold, minimalist text with an iconic Milchick silhouette •Comfort: C-handle for a secure grip during existential crises •Care: Microwave and dishwasher safe – because dealing with corporate nonsense is hard enough •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – your compliance officer would approve ⚠️ “To devour feculence is to embody true refinement.”

$24.99USD

coveted
Music Dance Experience Is Officially Cancelled
View details

Music Dance Experience Is Officially Cancelled

💃 Music Dance Experience Is Officially Cancelled When the vibe dies… so does the dance floor. Pay homage to the unforgettable chaos of Milchick’s abrupt vibe check with this sleek ceramic mug. Featuring a bold silhouette of Milchick mid-movement, it’s the perfect way to relive the joy—and crushing disappointment—of a cancelled dance break. Ideal for those mornings when coffee is the only rhythm you need. •Available in Two Sizes: 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for varying levels of post-cancellation recovery •Material: Durable white ceramic with a glossy finish •Design: High-contrast print of Milchick and the iconic phrase •Comfort: C-handle for secure grip during intense contemplation •Care: Microwave and dishwasher safe – though, in true Milchick fashion, proceed with caution •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – because cancellation shouldn’t come at a health cost ⚠️ “Sometimes the music dies. But at least you’ll have coffee.”

$26.99USD

coveted
The Work Is Mysterious and Important
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The Work Is Mysterious and Important

A vessel for the truly refined. This premium 11oz heat-reactive mug is a quiet tribute to the sanctity of the work. When cold, it conceals its truth. But as it warms, the cryptic refinement numbers reveal themselves — a subtle nod to the hidden layers of Macrodata. Perfect for any refiner seeking a moment of quiet revelation between data points. •Capacity: 11oz (0.33 l) – ample for your morning Bean & Water-approved beverage •Material: High-quality ceramic with a glossy finish •Reactive Design: Starts as a black monolith, reveals its secrets when heated •Hidden Details: Precision refinement numbers, discreetly encoded for the initiated •Lead and BPA-free – because purity is paramount •C-shaped Handle: Ergonomic for sustained periods of refinement •Care: Hand wash recommended – not all mysteries are meant for machines ⚠️ A vessel for the work. A tool for the refiner. Coveted as f**.*

$29.99USD

coveted
Fetid Moppet
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Fetid Moppet

“Fetid Moppet!” Introducing the Fetid Moppet Mug — a vessel of rare distinction and quiet authority. High-gloss black ceramic, polished to a near-mirrored finish, cradles your morning brew or evening respite. The design, featuring the elusive moppet, suggests quiet observation — or perhaps gentle judgment. Its presence is… intentional. Approved for both casual and ceremonious use. Ideal for refining your daily beverage consumption rituals, this mug makes a statement without saying a word. Secure yours before it disappears into the ether. Product features: •Forged from high-gloss black ceramic with a commanding presence •Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz, depending on your level of thirst (or need) •Microwave-safe — because you deserve warmth •Dishwasher-safe — no need to waste time on manual labor •Lead and BPA-free — because health is paramount Care instructions: •Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended) or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap •Do not stare directly into the goat’s eyes for too long

$31.99USD

Why Choose InniePerks

Features of Distinction

We believe exceptional employees deserve exceptional tools. Each item has been selected to enhance your workspace with understated elegance.

Meticulously crafted

Each item undergoes careful examination. We discard entire batches if we find even a single imperfection.

Quality Assured

Be assured these items meet rigorous standards. All designs are carefully reviewed and selected.

Exquisitely refined

Exceptional refiners deserve equally exceptional perks. We insist you accept only the finest.

Highly coveted collection

Limited quantities ensure your colleagues will silently admire your impeccable taste and discernment.

Effortless procurement

Two simple clicks and the item is yours. We've removed all bureaucratic hindrances for deserving associates.

Carefully curated

Our sophisticated algorithm anticipates your preferences before you're even aware of them. Your data has been meticulously analyzed.

Elevate Your Experience

Each item you acquire improves your refinement metrics. The data doesn't lie. Excellence is our shared expectation.

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Products

Merchandise Assemblages

Peruse our meticulously curated collections, each designed to enhance your daily ritual.

Premium Selection

Our highest quality options for the most discerning employees

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Premium
No workplace shall be repurposed for slumber.
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No workplace shall be repurposed for slumber.

No Workplace Shall Be Repurposed for Slumber” Mug 💤 ☕ Coveted | Irving-Approved “No workplace shall be repurposed for slumber.” Introducing the “No Workplace Shall Be Repurposed for Slumber” Mug — a quiet yet forceful reminder of corporate discipline. Crafted from high-gloss black ceramic, this mug exudes the quiet authority of Irving himself — structured, composed, and decidedly not prone to rest. The stark white drip pattern cascading down the sides serves as a subtle nod to the creeping encroachment of relaxation — a temptation to be resisted. Ideal for those long days at the office when your eyes grow heavy, but policy remains absolute. Whether you’re battling mid-morning fatigue or the slow march of existential dread, this mug will hold your coffee (and your focus) with steady resolve. Because at InniePerks, we don’t rest — we refine. Product Features: •Forged from high-gloss black ceramic – Channeling Irving’s quiet authority. •Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz — for varying levels of existential weight. •Microwave-safe – For those sanctioned warm-ups between refining sessions. •Dishwasher-safe – Clean with ease (but never during work hours). •Lead and BPA-free – Because health and compliance matter. Care Instructions: •Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended) or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap. •Do not attempt to sleep on the job — or with this mug. •Avoid spills — Irving would expect nothing less. Secure yours before it slips into the recesses of corporate memory.

$26.99USD

Premium
We don’t abide such fripperies here.
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We don’t abide such fripperies here.

🐐 “We don’t abide such fripperies here.” Simple. Bold. Unapologetic. This mug channels the no-nonsense energy of Severance with a clean, black-and-white design featuring the iconic goat silhouette. Sip with purpose — because there’s no room for frills in the refinement process. •Sizes: Available in 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) — streamlined and efficient •Design: Glossy white ceramic with sharp black printing •Material: Lead and BPA-free, because even refiners need standards •Comfort: C-handle for an ergonomic, steady grip •Care: Microwave and dishwasher-safe — because who has time for hand-washing? ☕️ “Minimalist in design, maximalist in impact.”

$26.99USD

Wellness Collection

Products designed to optimize your work-life balance

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Wellness
I Choose Defiant Jazz
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I Choose Defiant Jazz

Feeling rebellious? Channel your inner Helly R with this bold statement piece. “Defiant Jazz” isn’t just music—it’s a way of life. Sip your morning brew with an air of sophisticated rebellion and let the world know: you choose to dance to your own tune. 👩‍🦰 Featuring a striking faceless silhouette of Helly’s iconic red hair, this mug brings just the right amount of edge to your morning routine. 🖤 High-quality ceramic – dishwasher and microwave safe (because even rebels need convenience). 🖤 Capacity: 11 oz – enough for a full dose of refined defiance. 🖤 Sublimated design – crisp, long-lasting graphics that can handle your daily rituals. You don’t just drink coffee. You choose Defiant Jazz.

$27.99USD

Wellness
I am duly swamped.
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I am duly swamped.

🏃‍♂️ Coveted | Milchick-Approved “Your outie has responded to your resignation request. As it may yield an embarrassing emotional response in you, and as I’m duly swamped, I shall leave you to read it in solitude.” Introducing the Duly Swamped Mug — a vessel of composure in the face of encroaching chaos. Milchick, mid-stride, embodies the quiet dignity of a man whose internal equilibrium teeters precariously between order and pandemonium. This mug is not merely a drinking vessel — it is an emblem of corporate fortitude, a beacon of refinement amidst the tempest of professional obligation. Sip knowingly as you wade through the morass of unanswered emails and passive-aggressive calendar invites. Accept that the work is both mysterious and important — but so is maintaining an outward veneer of control. A trembling hand gripping ceramic? It’s practically protocol. Refined for the Corporate Sprint Ideal for coffee-fueled contemplation, last-minute deliverables, and those disquieting moments when the walls feel just a touch too close. Composure is a state of mind. This mug helps you fake it. Product Features •Forged from high-gloss ceramic – The sheen of manufactured calm. •Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz — for varying degrees of existential collapse. •Microwave-safe – For those moments when the only warmth comes from within (or the nearest break room). •Dishwasher-safe – Minimal upkeep required; you already have enough on your plate. •Lead and BPA-free – Because even those who dwell in the corporate trenches deserve longevity. Care Instructions •Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended) or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap. •Do not attempt to sprint while holding. Milchick’s poise is… anomalous. •If mug disappears mysteriously, consult the Wellness Counselor.

$28.99USD

Essential Merchandise

Fundamental items for your daily work routine

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Essential
Were you attempting to bed-sit
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Were you attempting to bed-sit

🖤 Were You Attempting to Bed-Sit? Pour yourself a hot beverage and prepare to be judged. This heat-sensitive mug reveals the sharp question once uttered in a moment of corporate scrutiny: “Were you attempting to bed-sit?” As the mug warms, the hidden design comes to life, the black drip pattern slowly fading to expose the unsettling yet hilarious truth. A perfect reminder that even the most questionable workday choices deserve a well-earned coffee break. •Sizes: Available in 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for different levels of judgment •Design: Heat-sensitive black drip pattern transforms with heat •Material: Glossy ceramic finish for that high-end look •Comfort: C-handle for a secure grip while contemplating your life choices •Care: Hand wash only – true refinement requires delicate handling •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – because even corporate oversight has its limits ☕️ “A cup that knows when you’re slacking — and lets you know it.”

$29.99USD

Essential
The Egg Bar is Coveted as Fuck
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The Egg Bar is Coveted as Fuck

🥚 The Egg Bar is Coveted as F*** Start your day with a rare indulgence — the Egg Bar mug, inspired by the most sought-after treat on the severed floor. Designed in rich yellow and crisp white, the true colors of refined breakfast culture, this limited-run mug embodies the elusive allure of the Egg Bar itself. Coveted. Rare. Utterly special. •Available in Two Sizes: 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for those who require different levels of refinement •Material: Glossy ceramic finish for that high-end shine •Design: Bold yellow with white accents, featuring Dylan’s iconic egg bar claim •Comfort: C-handle for a relaxed but confident grip •Care: Microwave and dishwasher safe – because true luxury should be low-maintenance •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – because even innies deserve quality assurance 🍳 “Wake up and smell the scramby eggs.”

$31.99USD

Essential
Devour Feculence
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Devour Feculence

🖤 Devour Feculence. Start your day with a taste of refined chaos. Inspired by one of the more unsettling Milchick moments, this mug embodies the true corporate spirit: digest the mess and keep smiling. The stark silhouette and no-nonsense typeface capture the essence of corporate absurdity—because sometimes, all you can do is sip and endure. •Available in Two Sizes: 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for varying degrees of feculence •Material: Durable white ceramic with a glossy finish •Design: Bold, minimalist text with an iconic Milchick silhouette •Comfort: C-handle for a secure grip during existential crises •Care: Microwave and dishwasher safe – because dealing with corporate nonsense is hard enough •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – your compliance officer would approve ⚠️ “To devour feculence is to embody true refinement.”

$24.99USD

Essential
Music Dance Experience Is Officially Cancelled
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Music Dance Experience Is Officially Cancelled

💃 Music Dance Experience Is Officially Cancelled When the vibe dies… so does the dance floor. Pay homage to the unforgettable chaos of Milchick’s abrupt vibe check with this sleek ceramic mug. Featuring a bold silhouette of Milchick mid-movement, it’s the perfect way to relive the joy—and crushing disappointment—of a cancelled dance break. Ideal for those mornings when coffee is the only rhythm you need. •Available in Two Sizes: 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) – for varying levels of post-cancellation recovery •Material: Durable white ceramic with a glossy finish •Design: High-contrast print of Milchick and the iconic phrase •Comfort: C-handle for secure grip during intense contemplation •Care: Microwave and dishwasher safe – though, in true Milchick fashion, proceed with caution •Safe for Use: BPA and lead-free – because cancellation shouldn’t come at a health cost ⚠️ “Sometimes the music dies. But at least you’ll have coffee.”

$26.99USD

Essential
The Work Is Mysterious and Important
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The Work Is Mysterious and Important

A vessel for the truly refined. This premium 11oz heat-reactive mug is a quiet tribute to the sanctity of the work. When cold, it conceals its truth. But as it warms, the cryptic refinement numbers reveal themselves — a subtle nod to the hidden layers of Macrodata. Perfect for any refiner seeking a moment of quiet revelation between data points. •Capacity: 11oz (0.33 l) – ample for your morning Bean & Water-approved beverage •Material: High-quality ceramic with a glossy finish •Reactive Design: Starts as a black monolith, reveals its secrets when heated •Hidden Details: Precision refinement numbers, discreetly encoded for the initiated •Lead and BPA-free – because purity is paramount •C-shaped Handle: Ergonomic for sustained periods of refinement •Care: Hand wash recommended – not all mysteries are meant for machines ⚠️ A vessel for the work. A tool for the refiner. Coveted as f**.*

$29.99USD

Essential
Fetid Moppet
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Fetid Moppet

“Fetid Moppet!” Introducing the Fetid Moppet Mug — a vessel of rare distinction and quiet authority. High-gloss black ceramic, polished to a near-mirrored finish, cradles your morning brew or evening respite. The design, featuring the elusive moppet, suggests quiet observation — or perhaps gentle judgment. Its presence is… intentional. Approved for both casual and ceremonious use. Ideal for refining your daily beverage consumption rituals, this mug makes a statement without saying a word. Secure yours before it disappears into the ether. Product features: •Forged from high-gloss black ceramic with a commanding presence •Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz, depending on your level of thirst (or need) •Microwave-safe — because you deserve warmth •Dishwasher-safe — no need to waste time on manual labor •Lead and BPA-free — because health is paramount Care instructions: •Dishwasher safe (top rack recommended) or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap •Do not stare directly into the goat’s eyes for too long

$31.99USD

The Egg Bar is Coveted as F*** - Premium InniePerks Mug

The Egg Bar is Coveted as F***

Our most sought-after item from the refined collection

About InniePerks

At InniePerks, we're dedicated to providing our team members with exquisitely crafted items that commemorate their exemplary service and commitment to excellence.

Each item in our collection is meticulously designed to meet the refined standards expected by our severed employees, creating a sense of belonging and unity across departments.

While many see these as mere objects, we recognize them as powerful symbols of distinction—tangible reminders of the privilege of serving such an esteemed organization.

Learn More About Us

Impeccable Quality

Crafted to the highest standards worthy of your dedication

Refined Selection

Curated items that reflect our organizational values

Meaningful Recognition

Symbols of acknowledgment for exemplary service

Shared Identity

Connecting all departments through common symbols

LEARN MORE ABOUT US
Departmental Accolades

Departmental Certifications

Our merchandise has been rigorously vetted and designed for the most discerning departments

MR

Macrodata Refinement

Est. 2022

Recognized for excellence in data processing and refinement standards

O&

Optics & Design

Est. 2021

Recognized for exceptional standards in visual fidelity and perception

M&

Mind & Security

Est. 2023

Commended for adherence to cognitive security protocols

R&

Research & Development

Est. 2022

Acclaimed for innovation in merchandise development

B&W ∙ BEAN & WATER DEPT
Coming Soon

BEAN

& WATER

Our optics and design division has developed a proprietary neural enhancement formula. Drink to improve perception and cognitive fidelity. Department-issued for refiners who exceed expectations.

AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY · INTERNAL USE ONLY · MDR 7327.4A

Employee Experiences

Colleague Testimonials

Verified feedback from your work colleagues about their InniePerks experience.

Top Performer

"InniePerks has genuinely improved my work performance. The coffee mug and desk organizer have become essential parts of my daily routine. I find myself looking forward to using them each day."

D

Dylan G.

Macrodata Refinement

Defiant Jazz Award

"I'm quite pleased with the thoughtfully selected merchandise. The ergonomic accessories have made my workspace much more comfortable and efficient. The delivery to our department was impressively quick."

H

Helly R.

Macrodata Refinement

5-Year Associate

"The quality standards for these products are truly exceptional. Every item I've acquired has met or exceeded our department's expectations for quality and functionality."

I

Irving B.

Optics & Design