'We Don't Abide Such Fripperies Here' Magnetic Rugged Innie Grip Case

🐐 Disciplinary Class | Frippery-Free Certified

“We don’t abide such fripperies here.”

Introducing the Frippery Prohibition Case — a device shield for those who tread the hallowed corridors of productivity and poise. Featuring the stark silhouette of an internal compliance observer (rumored to be a goat), this case signals to the world that you — unlike certain individuals — do not indulge in idle ornamentation or spontaneous whimsy.

Whether you’re answering calls, ignoring texts, or checking for new directives from upper floors, this is the sanctioned shell for your glass rectangle. It won’t make your work easier, but it will make your priorities clear.

 

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Engineered for Conformity

 

Ideal for those on the authorized Broadcast Registry, mid-tier protocol auditors, or just anyone who prefers their accessories stripped of joy and distraction.

 

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Product Features:

• Dual-layer polycarbonate protection – Frippery-resistant, impact-tolerant

• Glossy finish – Polished. Like your public demeanor

• Precision fit for most iPhone models – But not all. That would be presumptuous

• Wireless charging compatibility – Because wires are a luxury

• Snap-on installation – No tools, no questions

 

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Care Instructions:

 

• Wipe down with a dry cloth. Avoid eye contact with the goat silhouette

• Should you notice the phrase subtly changing over time… report to Wellness

• Unauthorized customization will trigger Compunction Protocol

 

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This isn’t a phone case. It’s a boundary.