'Devour feculence.' Mouse Pad

🕳️ Coveted | Slightly Concerning

“Devour feculence.”

Introducing the Devour Feculence Mouse Pad — a statement of pure, unfiltered compliance. Inspired by the directive once uttered with unsettling calm, this surface is not meant to inspire creativity — it is meant to prepare you. For what? That is above your pay grade.

Crafted for those who’ve tasted the brown dust & water mix and whispered, “More.” The silhouette? Familiar. The message? Inevitable. Whether you’re navigating your day job or partaking in unsanctioned broadcasts after hours, this desk companion says, “I’ve accepted my role. Have you?”

 

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Installed for Sustained Obedience

Perfect for data refinement, digital interface activities, or simply enduring the day in polished silence. This pad is not ergonomic — it is ideological.

 

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Product Features

• Smooth neoprene surface — cleans easily, stains discreetly

• Anti-slip rubber base — because you may try to flee

• Premium stitched edges — won’t unravel, unlike you

• Subtle yet commanding silhouette — disciplinary-adjacent

• Measures 9″ × 7″ — compact enough for clandestine use

 

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Care Instructions

• Spot clean with warm water and dish soap — no full immersion

• Avoid exposing to executive scrutiny

• If questioned about the message, say it’s a metaphor