
I Am Duly Swamped Premium Mouse Pad
$19.99USD
🏃♂️ Coveted | Performance-Calibrated
“As it may yield an embarrassing emotional response in you, and as I’m duly swamped, I shall leave you to read it in solitude.”
— Source: Internal Memorandum, Department Unknown
Introducing the Duly Swamped Mouse Pad — a compact surface solution engineered for high-stakes clicking and ambiguous productivity. Whether you’re navigating sensitive files, playing pixelated war games, or quietly dissociating through your eighth meeting of the morning, this pad provides support, stability, and plausible deniability.
The illustration? That’s not panic. That’s procedural urgency.
Minimal Space. Maximum Protocol.
Sized precisely for restricted workstations and optimized for those who prefer their accessories like their emotions — contained and efficient. It doesn’t ask questions. It doesn’t offer answers. It’s just… there. As it should be.
Product Features
• Smooth surface for calibrated gliding
• Stitched edges — compliance never frays
• Anti-slip base, like your commitment to protocol
• High-resolution print to remind you: don’t run in the halls (unless you must)
• Compact format (9” × 7”) — because space is a privilege
Care Instructions
• Clean with warm water and dish soap
• Use soft brush for persistent residue or abstract remorse
• Do not soak — the fibers do not forget
EXPEDITED SHIPPING
Guaranteed delivery to authorized locations
QUALITY ASSURANCE
Each item undergoes rigorous quality control